Chapter 303

Up at 10, and I slowly started my day. The girlfriend was at the dinner table, her nose in her books, reviewing for the teaching certification exam she’d be taking in the afternoon. I drank tea and had a chat with mama-in-law, talking about future plans. She’s not opposed to us moving out of China for a bit in the upcoming years, bless her kind soul. Of course she’ll be missing her daughter but also understands our reasons, knowing I’d been away from my own family for so long. I didn’t really talk about the feeling of impending cold war scenario between the West and the East, I lack the Chinese vocabulary to talk about that delicate topic with the nuance it deserves, I mostly focused on the idea of doing something different for a bit and being back in my homeland. She said they’ll come visit, and also agreed to keep the dog while we’re away if the cost and hassle of flying him across the world are prohibitive. Anyway, we’ll see what the future has in store. I’m grateful to have such supportive family members (biological and adoptive).

We had lunch, a big spread of her fantastic rustic central Chinese cooking. Nearly everything she cooks is wonderful, and oftentimes very meat-heavy, when honored guests like us are there. I didn’t fill myself up until I was about to rupture, like I sometimes do, as I was going to exercise two hours later. I’d been talking to the British guy I ran into at the Hangzhou BJJ tournament, and he proposed we train together when I’m in town. The gym was about a kilometer away, which is almost a miracle in a city as gigantofuckingnormous as Hefei is, so I rode a rent-a-bike there in less than 10 minutes, and he came to meet me at the gate. We warmed up and then watched a chapter from an instructional DVD with a Polish guy showing attacks from side control, that we then drilled. After that we had a few sparring rounds, he’s been training also roughly for a year but he’s much better than me, having been at it non-stop with more commitment, while I’d been taking long breaks here and there. Still, my weight advantage negated some of his attacks and allowed me some moves I would never pull off against someone my size. A good time was had by all. We talked about upcoming UFC fights we’re both looking forward to, then I thanked him and went back to the apartment.

On the way home, I rode the rent-a-bike opposite traffic for a short segment. There were almost no other people in the bike lane, and it saved me a huge amount of time, because otherwise I’d have had to make a lengthy detour to cross the busy boulevard. An old man in a red sleeveless vest that read “Civilised traffic” waved a flag at me, but I ignored it and went to the intersection. As I was waiting for the light, an actual cop who had witnessed it started berating me, saying I wouldn’t do that in my home country. And... he’s right. Forgive me for not seeing traffic rules as mere suggestions after all those years among inept and psychopathic drivers. Still, for that same reason, I also have to appreciate the efforts made to wenmingize the population, and lead by example. Just not today, I don’t feel like going a kilometer down the road, wait to cross, ride a kilometer back, and cross again just to get to the exact same point, rather than saving myself fifteen minutes and just go straight without endangering or obstructing anyone.

Mama-in-law was watching Breaking Bad with subtitles, it was a gnarly episode where Jesse is kept prisoner by a couple of crackheads, and the woman ends up killing her husband by flipping over a stolen ATM over him in a fit of rage. Mama-in-law asked if such heart-rendingly pathetic and dangerous druggos are common in the USA and I said that yes, hard drugs have fucked up a lot of people. I’m fortunate enough not to have grown up in a place where meth or opioid addictions are common but I’ve heard all the horror stories, some of them first-hand.

I opened a white beer and watched the show with her, then took a shower and headed back out. I rode a rent-a-bike to the glitzy shopping mall, packed with people praying at the altar of consoomerism. I headed to the fifth floor, rented a pair of skates and did laps around the ice, by myself, listening to some harsh black metal. Bliss. I ran into the Slovak guy who coaches hockey and asked him how he got the job, I want to be a hockey coach too. “One of the Chinese coaches left, there’s a vacancy now” Too bad I don’t live in Hefei, and my city doesn’t even have one single skating rink.

My friends arrived, so I went to change my shoes and on my way out, I saw they had already separated the ice with plastic barriers and the Slovak was coaching two boys. They were pretty damn good. We went to the Tex-Mex restaurant, ordered a mountain of food and margaritas, and caught up. An American friend and former coworker opened an English school for young children with his wife and it used to go really well, but then the double whammy of Covid restrictions and the new legislation limiting the number of after-school programs hit them hard. They’re still operating, but who knows for how long.

The restaurant was packed, a far cry from a few years ago when middle-class Chinese people still had a revulsion for Mexican food, and the restaurant hadn’t yet diversified their menu with easier things like spaghetti and pizza. Still, the service was good and our food came quickly.

The American guy and I then rode across town on his electric scooter, the almost depleted battery somehow handling our two big bodies and getting us to our destination. What used to be mostly an expat bar was packed wall-to-wall with Chinese groups, but I saw some familiar faces. There was a rough-looking man covered with tattoos who used to be my boxing coach, he was surprised and happy to see me after all those years. There was also one of my friend’s exes, and a guy who vaguely seemed familiar, and he also said he knows me but can’t recall my name. We introduced ourselves. “Oh yeah, you’re my Eskimo brother!” We share a common ex, a Russian girl who was living in Hefei in those days.

My American buddy asked “How many people do you know here?!
”

“Not many, maybe five total? There’s also the old Canadian guy sitting at the bar there, remember him, we should go say hi”

“That’s more than I can say. I hardly go out these days. I hang out with my two kids, teach at our school in the afternoon, and watch baseball or TV shows at night.”

We had one more beer with the old Canadian guy then went a block away to see if the craft beer bar run by Africans is open. It was not. So we got some Lawsons beers and sat on the stairs, discussing various topics before I took a taxi home.