Chapter 138

I had a weird dream last night. I was at the XXL magazine’s Freshman Cypher, a yearly event that showcases emerging rappers, in a circle with black guys sipping cough syrup from styrofoam cups and taking turns freestyling on the microphone. Then when it was my turn I just tried to rap a few crappy rhymes and throw ad libs, but failed miserably as I’m, well, not a rapper. My recollection of the dream is patchy, I don’t remember the crowd’s reaction but it cut at some point to music critic Anthony Fantano disdainfully reviewing my performance. I struggle with inadequacy complex and impostor syndrome at times, I feel like that was the underlying theme of that dream.

I walked the dog and did a bit of tai chi in the square. I still felt a bit under the weather, recovering from that nasty cold, but was getting much better. Then I rode to work.

To make up for the classes I lost on my sick day, I asked the teachers who were scheduled for the first two periods if I could have their classes and do a review for the lab exam that was to take place in the afternoon. I walked in there, and 80% of the students were dead asleep. If it were just a few, I’d have shaken them awake and started my lesson, but that many?! I don’t want to have to deal with their little grumpy faces as they sneer at me for daring to disturb them, so I sat at the front desk and answered questions from those who had any.

I had a bit of free time in the office, and read the news. Quebec City, like most horizontally built American cities, is clogged with traffic and there has been talks about building a new highway linking its southern suburb across the river to the main part of the city. Of course a lot of people are mad at the plan proposed by provincial and municipal politicians, which lines up to be a financial disaster that would just increase the amounts of traffic, while the city’s public transit links are pitiful. While I perused angry comments on the internet, I listened to an album by Eyehategod, a New Orleans sludge metal band with a sound I can only describe as dirty, and in an awesome way.

One student from a grade 11 class I don’t teach came to talk to me. He is selling his PS4, and heard from a coworker that I might want it. I’m semi-thinking about it, but I don’t like video games that much nor do I feel it would be a good idea to push myself to play more of them, there’s so many more productive things I could rather be doing. The only game I’m really interested in is Red Dead Redemption 2.

I didn’t have a lunch break to speak of; the chemistry lab exam took all afternoon, in two batches of two hours with a break in the middle for the lab technician to refill the chemicals. I had to check the apparatus with the students, replace broken or missing bits, ensure the environment was safe, and also I had to go to another room and do the experiment myself to have quantitative data to send Cambridge. It was a bit of a stressful shit-show, but we managed. In the break between the two I managed to go home and get some food to bring back to the school, that I quickly ate. Blueberries, litchis, and a protein bar.

I got home later than usual, and did a calisthenics workout. I considered resting, as I was a bit weak from the cold, but knew I could push through it and it would make me feel better. The girlfriend and I then went to a restaurant in the neighborhood that serves Hunanese cuisine, one of my favorites. They use a lot of pickled hot peppers, giving it a suanla (sour n’ spicy) profile. We had pig feet, beef covered with cilantro twigs and three kinds of peppers, green beans and shredded potatoes, and they had German wheat beer in the fridge for some cool reason.

We got home and I talked to my cousin on Zoom. He and his girlfriend bought a van and built it into a home, all with wooden panelling, a wooden stove and a self-sufficient electric system with solar panels. A few months ago the whole van was gutted, it’s the first time I was seeing the finished product. They did some absolutely awesome work!

I went to bed and read a few chapters from another novel by J-P Baril-Guérard, called Sports Et Divertissement. Just like the law student in Royal, the young actress who acts as the protagonist and narrator is sheltered and uppity, and you never quite know if you should envy her status and hedonistic lifestyle or pity her as the heartrendingly pathetic mess that she is. Great stuff. Saying I don’t have my finger on the pulse of modern Quebec literature would be the understatement of the century but I’m glad I stumbled upon this young author.