Chapter 349

In the morning I took my sweet-ass time so much that I didn’t even take the dog out, I had to rush to school. So when I came back during lunch, he had peed on the floor. I suck at life, I told myself as I was mopping the yellow liquid with paper tissues.

I had a bunch of twelfth-grade classes in the morning, and they went okay I guess. For lunch I went with the dog to a neighboring restaurant and ordered a bunch of spicy Hunanese food. At some point I wondered where the dog had gone, and saw that the cooks were by the kitchen door, trying to attract him with a piece of meat. The joke was too easy to make, and I made it, to general hilarity.

(And if you think oHmYgAwD tHaT’s rAciSt, well, they had dog meat on the menu, so it’s not as if they would get offended)

Full of oily peppery goodness, I went back to work. I taught Catatonic Class and then Crazy Class, one boy was wearing a hat and refused to take it off, something about a botched haircut, and one girl spent the whole lesson sobbing in the corner. I tried to raise her spirits or at least make her feel comfortable but the scars were too deep it seems. I heard later that she got shouted at by a Chinese teacher for not doing her homework. There’s this idea that Oriental folks are all about harmony n’ shit, and they will gladly lecture your barbarian ignorant ass about that and other aspects of their superior culture, but they sure do like yelling at their subordinates down the Great Confucian Human Centipede. Between classes I listened to metal albums I have to review for the Metal Minded podcast. The internet was intermittently sucking shit and preventing me from doing so, but eventually it unclogged.

Speaking of clogging, for a few days there’s been a nasty ever-expanding puddle by the luxury hotel where the gym is located, caused by an overflowing sewer. It reeks to high heavens, and reminds me of my trip to India. The first time I just rolled through it with my bicycle and carried the smell home, absorbed by the rubber of my wheels, now I try my best to circumvent it. There were six of us on the jiu-jitsu mat, a damn near record. The Italian blue belt showed us some rather basic moves for the benefit of the new guys, but I’m also still a n00b so I also got a lot from it. Then we rolled several rounds, a great time was had by all. I plugged my mp3 player on the huge speaker and played the album 8 Diagrams by the Wu-Tang Clan, and it was much better than the other post-36 Chambers material I’ve heard from them. Then I put on some good bangers by Immortal Technique for the free sparring session.

I rode home, took the dog out for a spin, and ate the fish dish the girlfriend had just baked. It was good, though it’s always annoying to have to pick the tiny bones out of the flesh.