Chapter 60

I just noticed we’re starting a new month, time flies! I haven’t skipped a day of diarying (if that’s a word) and don’t plan on slacking off until December 31^st. Not sure what I’m getting out of this exercise exactly, certainly not fame and fortune, but for sure it will be nice in the future to re-read it and have a window into my 2021 life, and while there are more productive things I could do instead, well we can also say that I could be wasting that time watching shitty Netflix shows or masturbating or whatever.

I started the day with a bit of tai chi (I normally use proper standard pinyin when transcribing Chinese words but I feel like it would be a bit douchebaggy to write taiji or taijiquan when the word has already been widely adopted into English as tai chi) to loosen up, watching some bald guy perform the movements in front of a pond on YouTube. When I get familiar with them and when the weather stops sucking ass I’ll go outside and get my tai chi on like the old Chinese man I am.

Yesterday, after posting the diary, I started a Grateful Dead album and I finished it in the morning. I remember checking them out years ago after reading about their cultural importance and thinking it was boring hippie shit. Well, that album Workingman’s Dead, the 409^th best album of all time as decided by that congregation of Rolling Stone writers, wasn’t half bad. Then, at 408, it was Ace Of Spades by Motörhead. Now that’s what I’m talking about! I never listened to the album, but the title track is one of the most beloved by metal fans of any denomination.

I had a full block of four classes and did my thing like a good worker ant. I gave the twelfth-graders a worksheet to complete, and some of them didn’t do anything. I’m not mad at that, it will take less than a second to grade, just enough time to draw a “ZEROOOO!!!” (said with the voice of Infinite Elgintensity)

Also I got a message from the driving school, they told me that I’ll take the driving exam on March 10^th. A Wednesday. I replied that I’m pretty busy on Wednesdays, but the whole process is bureaucratic and inflexible, so after a bit of back-and-forth, I realized I have to play the game and looked at ways I could have someone cover me. Thankfully, the Chinese teachers have, like, 6 hours of classes a week (but a lot of homeroom duties that require them to be there early and leave late and deal with the parents, and also are paid a pittance) so I could find one to cover my morning class on that day, and the principal is cool so he understood and approved the schedule change.

I got home and put on an album by a Polish band named Chainsword, playing old-school death metal with a palpable Bolt Thrower influence. The guys on my metal Facebook group were fawning over it and it was indeed pretty good, a good soundtrack for my calisthenics workout. I did two sets of 60 push-ups, 60 ab exercises (sit-ups first, lying leg raises second), 12 handstand pushups, 12 pull-ups, 30 kettlebell swings.

Then I ate some kind of rice patty with tuna, a Korean-style snack that I got in a Lawson. Lawson is a convenience store chain like 7-eleven, and in the past year they’ve been mushrooming in my city, popping at every street corner and putting the shitty Chinese chains and mom n’ pop baijiu n’ cigarettes shops out of business. I’m very happy with that. Generally I tend to patronize the smaller businesses but at times I get fucking tired of the dusty empty shelves, unlabeled products, mouth-breathing cashiers who don’t lift their eyes from their phones until you say “HEY!”, and unplugged fridges in order to save $0.03 on electricity. Lawson is a Japanese chain that brings the standardized quality that country is known for, and because of their extensive chain of supply, they manage to sell some products cheaper than elsewhere. And also they have those delicious gimbap rolls and rice patties.

I tried out a new hot sauce we bought online, it’s from Saudi Arabia of all places, but it’s a bit disappointing, it tastes just like Tabasco or Frank’s. I also ate a can of sardines with crackers and cream cheese, and didn’t wash my hands properly, so I spent the afternoon with fishy fingers. Before going back to work, I took the dog out for a little walk, and when I came back, there was an old guy in the elevator. He was motioning aggressively towards the triangle-faced animal, even though I kept a short leash and the dog didn’t do anything. I didn’t remove my earbuds to hear what he was saying, it was probably useless information.

Crucified Barbara played on my mp3 player. I think the quality and my enjoyment of their albums is in decreasing chronological order, but it doesn’t mean the later ones are bad, just that their debut In Distortion We Trust is just so much fun. Today I listened to the third one, called The Midnight Chase, it is banger after banger, a true hard rock piece of art. At times I’m puzzled, wondering why Crucified Barbara isn’t more popular, perhaps people think it’s a gimmick band.

Attitude Class were pretty good this afternoon. Some students asked me questions during the break, something a lot of Chinese students are too shy or too proud to do at times. I also gave them time to work on the practice questions in class, I’d rather do that than give them homework that they won’t do or just copy.

I had some time in the office and looked for music to drown out the noise, the Kanonfieber album from a few days ago looked at me with evil puppy eyes when I opened YouTube. There’s one song in it that kind of pisses me off, with very bland riffage that is outside of the realm of black metal, but the rest of the album is excellent. Then, I blind-clicked on Minenwerfer in the recommended videos. Hmmm, an underground black metal band from California with a German name written in old English font, I must have spent too much time reading /r/RABM because I saw a red flag and immediately went to investigate. The fact that their war imagery is exclusively about 1914-1918 rather than 1939-1945 should immediately disqualify them as potential nazifucks, but on Metal-Archives, prominently listed in the “Similar Bands” tab is Ad Hominem, a black metal act that really, really likes to talk about Jews. The plot was thickening before my eyes, but I eventually made a preliminary conclusion about Minenwerfer being safe and it would be a damn shame if they turned out to be NSBM, because the album slayed. I absolutely have to check out the rest of their discography.

I got home and kicked the heavy bag, 50 right and 50 left. When I was training muay thai, this would have barely counted as a cooldown let alone a workout, but I’m far from my old fighting shape and just felt like moving a little bit and kicking something. I then sat down and watched more Infinite Elgintensity videos, that guy is a machine throwing witty, caustic and hilarious insults at scamming fitness gurus, overinflated ego lifters and random celebrities too.

The girlfriend got a gift from a coworker, a small container full of won ton filling made with an expensive fish. She asked me if I want to help her pack the won tons and I immediately replied no. All my attempts at filling any sorts of dumplings in the past have been epic failures, I’ll leave it to the pros. So she sat at the dinner table packing and folding the small squares of dough, then boiled them. It was a delicious meal.

At night, I listened to two albums by 1960s band The Kinks, and then I got relegated to the bedroom while the girlfriend gave her online lesson and didn’t want my distracting presence in the living room. I read in bed while listening to Blut Aus Nord, a rather psychedelic black metal band, and passed out early.