Chapter 33

I had a lot of strange dreams about the driving exam, which triggered insomnia. I guess it will take a while to get it out of my system. And what makes it even worse is that the Chinese New Year is coming up soon, which will further delay my chance at doing it again and finally getting it out of my system.

A friend of mine was online, he works in Berlin and just went back to Quebec to visit his family. We exchanged messages, and started talking on Skype. He has to follow quarantine and stay in the basement, which makes me wonder what kind of anticlimactic family visit the whole thing will be. And also Quebec is under another one of its endless half-assed lockdowns, with nearly everything closed and a curfew starting at 8 PM. People seem really tired of this.

We exchanged some news, reminisced about old stories, and talked about conspiracy theories. I think conspiracy theories are fascinating due to how outrageous some of the claims are and how a lot of people feel some kind of comfort in them, at a time where reality is stranger than fiction.

I was just about to go out with the dog for a walk and to get something to eat, when the girlfriend messaged me. She wanted to eat at the Sichuan restaurant, so I met her there, riding my longboard with the doggy running along. We ate all of our favorite spicy dishes, four total, and there were leftovers that I carried home. Total price for the meal, plus a beer: 90 yuan (14 USD). You can’t beat that with a stick. That’s the magic of China.

I spent most of the day writing, and reading articles online about true crime and the horrific reality of meth addiction. Uplifting stuff. I clicked on a few Reddit links and fell into a rabbit hole, it seems.

All the while, I was listening to compilations of late 90s, early 00s French hip-hop. All the classics were in there: Fonky Family, 113, Oxmo Puccino, IAM, NTM, as well as some I had never heard of. Looking at the comments on YouTube, a lot of people were saying that this is the real French hip-hop, and that the stuff played nowadays is just garbage. Seems like French and American old-school rap fans have this in common. I’d say on the French side it’s even worse, last year or the year before that I stumbled upon a list of the current best-selling French rap and gave it a listen, I hated nearly all of it. Meanwhile, on the US side of things, I can say at least that there are a few relevant artists (Denzell Curry, Flatbush Zombies) that I like.

One track in the compilation caught my attention, Bouteille de Gaz by Scred Connexion. It opens with a sample from a rather virulently anti-immigration speech by a member of the Front National, and of course those Paris-born rappers of Tunisian descent don’t take kindly to that shit. In the following verses, and in a lot of French rap tracks in fact, they talk about the reality lived by ethnic minorities and denounce racism, but some of the lyrics are a bit questionable:

Je me passerais bien de ton pays de facho, tes propos à balles deux

Je voudrais finir ma vie au soleil et m'éclipser en 2-2

[I could do without your fascist country, and the stupid shit you say

I’d like to finish my life in the sun, and get out as fast as I can]

Hmmm. Seems like it’s obvious, no? Hell, you don’t even have to fly, there’s a ferry going from various ports in southern France, Tunisia is only a few hours away.

I’m NOT saying that all immigrants or non-whites should “giiiitttt oouuuuttt” like the South Park caricature. Nor am I saying that people shouldn’t talk about racism or segregation or inclusion. But if you’re saying that you want to get out of there... yet you stay... well can we call you a hypocrite?

I could elaborate, draw a parallel with the situation of expats in China who spend every waking minute of every day bitching about China and the Chinese, yet are still here, and yeah I’m aware there are major differences (history of French colonialism in North Africa, the fact that those guys were born in Paris and not expatriates, etc.) but still it sounds obvious enough.

On se passera bien de ta France qui nous expose au sales influences

Nous pousse au vice mais c'est encore les mêmes qui payent la sentence

[We will do without your France exposing us to dirty influences

Pushing us towards vice, but it’s still the same people serving the sentence]

OK, now we have a bit more nuance, as I imagine he’s saying that minorities get harsher prison sentences and a general unfair treatment by the justice system. But what does he mean by “your France exposing us to dirty influences”? As opposed to what? To whom? Kids in Tunis or Algiers? I’m more than ready to listen to immigrants’ grievances (well I’m not French, but plenty of immigrants in Quebec hold a similar discourse) but the way it’s phrased is rather divisive, antagonistic and fallacious.

Je me passerais bien de tous vos héros historiques

De l'Éducation Nationale et ses enseignants alcooliques

[I could do without your historical heroes

National Education and its alcoholic teachers]

That one particularly rubs me the wrong way, and not just because I feel personally attacked by the part about alcoholic teachers. Like, what the fuck? You don’t want France, one of the most overachieving nations in the history of the planet, to celebrate its heroic figures? Again, if you don’t relate to them, that’s understandable, but what’s the alternative? Erasing history? That second verse had started with a more substantiated criticism, about prejudice and people clutching their bags when he takes the metro, but now this is just whiny. Show some fucken gratitude.

Je veux pas que mon fils grandisse là, je veux pas qu'il vive cette vie là

Je veux qu'il puisse se dire ne serait-ce qu'une fois : « Mais pourquoi je suis là ? »

[I don’t want my son growing up there, I don’t want him to live that life

I want him to say just once “Why am I here?”]

Note the usage of the word “there” and not “here”. That track is over 20 years old, I assume Haroun and his son now live happily in a middle-class part of Tunisia. Oh wait, he’s still in France?! Man, he must be a masochist, or maybe, just maybe, it’s not that much of a pays de facho like he whines.

Let me contrast it with one line from a much, much better rapper:

Et tant pis pour ceux qui pensent que je bloque sur l’Afrique

Cette chanson c’est comme la France, frère, tu l’aimes ou tu la quittes

[Too bad for those who think I’m always talking about Africa

This song is just like France, brother, you like it or you leave it]

-         Youssoupha, Noir Désir

That’s a great track by a great artist, one who often talks about his Congolese/Senegalese heritage as well as the problems of black Frenchmen, but with much more aplomb, nuance (references to black-on-black crime and bad influences on black youth) and a look towards the future rather than just bitching.

Anyway.

I carried on, doing my Chinese studying. I looked at practice questions from the theoretical exam that I had been having trouble with, and copied the difficult characters in my notebook, while listening to the relentless black/death metal of Werewolves, a new band from Australia. I also listened to a few tracks by Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum, a tech death band from Belarus, but I need to be in a very special mood to enjoy such technical wankery.

The girlfriend came back from work, and we went outside with the dog to buy groceries. She complained that the price of pork rose, but it’s still pretty damn cheap. We got home, she prepared dinner, while I gave the dog a shower. He clearly doesn’t like it but I’ve seen dogs who absolutely hate water, it could be worse. Our Minigo just stoically stands in the bathtub while I soap and rinse him, and after a short towelling, runs around like a bat out of hell, rubbing himself on the couch or on the carpet.

We had a great dinner of pan-fried pork, soybeans and cold rice noodles that we’d put in a lettuce leaf or spring roll sheet before dipping it in hot sauce, while watching The Office. We’re on Season 3, I think there are six more after that. We like the show very much, but might watch something else when the season is over, before picking it back up. We’ll see.